OUR FLIGHT HOME

We got checked in, made it through immigrations with the proper checks being made of this Caucasian couple coming through with a Korean infant. We boarded early and got settled into the bulk head seats which gave us an option of getting some type of bassinet for the ride if we needed it. As you may suspect, Jessica continued to cry just in little bits throughout. We had all sorts of things to provide her in hopes of distracting her from her thoughts and feelings of separation.

I tend to worry more than Julie does about things. For me, with the encouragement and advise my Dad provided through the blog and with the email Christie from our agency sent which eliminated some of the mystery of what to expect during the travel time, when Jessica came to me at Eastern for 10 minutes or so without crying (even though see eventually got upset at the end of that 10 minutes) I knew it was just a matter of time before things would be fine. Seeing Julie caring for Jessica as a mother while riding to the airport was reassuring too. Julie did tell Jessica on the ride out to the airport that Jessica's grandpa had told her to hold her close even if she cried hard. I am not sure Jessica understood but we knew we were doing the right things to help her during her early anxious moments.

The 10 hour trip really could not have gone much better. We suspected their would be bumps in the road, but it ended up really being only one bump. For what seemed like much longer than 20 minutes, early on in the flight Jessica had her own breakdown. Not that 4 kids make you seasoned veterans as parents, but it sure seemed like she was tired on top of everything else. What complicated matters as much as anything was the goodness of a lot of people that unfortunately couldn't be drawn on. As Christie had warned us, the flight attendants wanted to help us and Jessica so badly. We had three flight attendants around us at any one time surrounding our seats during this twenty minutes trying to stop Jessica's tears or they requested to hold her. We had two Korean mothers (probably similar in age to Mrs. Kim) who wanted to help - asked to take her. We tried as kindly as we could in turning down their offers to help, but Julie had to on 3-4 occasions just tell them that she needed to bond with her and that they could not hold her - although I don't think “the bonding” concept translated over very well everyone gave us the space we needed. Imagine if you will, we have a Korean infant who is suffering greatly from separation anxiety and she wants to go to these people who look much more familiar to her than we do. Christie again told us not to feel bad in telling the flight attendants or anyone else "no" but that the time was important for us to bond with Jessica. She wore herself out during those 2o minutes in Julie's arm and fell asleep finally taking her pacifier. I found the situations when she struggled interesting - as she cried and pushed away during these moments, she also pulled in and held close to Julie. I am sure she was confused in wanting to get away from these strangers but wanting and knowing the comfort she would receive was from these same strangers. The bond phase is truly a process that happens over time.

She slept for 7 hours. While the flight attendants offered us the bassinet, Julie did not want to put her down and have her wake up. So Julie, her butt and her arms suffered a bit for 7 hours while Jessica comfortably slept. Later I had Jessica for 1 hour sleeping at the end of the 10 hour flight after she fell back asleep and my butt was begging for mercy - I can only imagine Julie's physical suffering. Julie adjusted as best she could while we basically watched movies and talked. Julie had the thought that while we had 2.5 years of emotional labor while waiting to get Jessica, these 7 hours were Julie's physical labor pains.

Jessica has never really taken a bottom of formula that Mrs. Kim gave us, but when she did wake up we did confirm something else Mrs. Kim had told us and that was that Jessica loves watermelon and cantaloupe. She ate all the fruit they gave us with one of our meals. She remained in pretty good spirits for the rest of the flight. As mentioned before, she did fall asleep again for the last part of the flight.

Coming through immigrations, we completed all the proper paper work to get Jessica's Korean passport stamped so she is a offically a legal resident of the United States of America. The gentleman that helped us even gave the standard speech to Jessica of "Welcome to the United States of America". For those wondering, a Korean adoption becomes official after 6 months. At that point, the child of two American citizens automatically becomes a citizen and can apply for a U.S. passport. For now, she is a legal resident of the U.S. (she will be receiving her green card in the mail) and can apply for a social security number so she can WORK! Despite formalities, Jessica is one of our children and will be loved just as much as we love our other four wonderful children.

The 3 hour layover at LAX was fairly uneventful. We ate sandwichs with a McDonald's coke. Jessica ate watermelon, cantaloupe, grapes and honey dew. As with most kids, once the initial appetite is met, eating becomes a game and so was the case with the fruit. Spewing it from her mouth was much funner than continuing to eat it.

The flight home from LAX to Salt Lake City was unfortunate in some degree, but at that point it was possibly only a frustration for those around us on the plane - but mildly stress for us. The travel was near an end, so the fatigue was high for all three of us. However, the real distress for Jessica on this flight was her ears. She was fine on the plane until it took off. She cried for most of the 1 hour 22 minutes of flight time. As soon as the plane landed, she stopped crying immediately. I am not Sherlock Holmes, but the clues seemed to indicate that Jessica was suffering from the uncomfortable pressure she was feeling in her ears. We were unable to get her to take her bottle or for the life of me, she wouldn't pop her own ears - just kidding. She was content as the plane taxied into the gate and we got our stuff together to deplane.

The thoughts of getting her home, as we landed in Salt Lake City, was exciting, but more important than that was the thought of introducing her to her new brothers and her new sister. That was to come sooner than later as we knew right outside of Security was a welcomed and emotional sight for Julie and I.