GETTING ADJUSTED

We have been home for 6 days and what a contrast we have seen along the way.

Jessica is doing wonderful. I think the biggest change I saw was from Monday to Tuesday and it just keeps getting better for her everyday that passes.

Monday, she was clingy to Julie (and Samantha) and really didn't want to be put down. Julie and I could both tell that she was missing her foster family and seemed to be missing those things that just a few days earlier had provided the comfort a one-year old needs. At the same time, while bowling, a stranger had come over after overhearing our adoption story and put her arms out for Jessica and Jessica leaned over and went to her. By this time, she was not comfortable with me, Julie's parents or most adults. But out of nowhere, while we were bowling, Jessica willing went to Julie's mom and continued to be comfortable the rest of that night with her.

Tuesday, when I got home from work, Jessica was wandering around the house away from Julie, investigating closets, drawers, and anything that was within her reach. She has been reluctant to come to me which I have been fine with - so many new things and so much uncertainty for her, it wasn't necessary to force the issue. The night before was a perfect example when she went to Judy. Jessica will return to her happy-go-lucky self as she gets comfortable with her surroundings. So Tuesday night, she wandered over to the dishwasher and began taking out the silverware and dropping it on the floor as I was trying to load the dishwasher. She let me pick her up and also when she got upset at something, she actually reached out for me. Julie is still her "security blanket" as she should and you can tell the motherly bond is growing each day.

Each night, Jessica is going to bed easier and easier. The first few nights there were a lot of tears. Tonight, I am not sure if I heard any tears and Julie just held her and gave her a sipper cup since she has shown little interest in formula or a baby bottle. Based on what we have read, Jessica will be in our bed for a few weeks until the security of being in her new home is well established. She loves fruit, yogurt, apple sauce, milk, bread, Ritz crackers, and most of the finger food that we give her. She has a very healthy appetite which also has shown up as she has gotten more and more comfortable with her environment.

The kids absolutely adore her and she adores them. When they get home from school Jessica gets so excited to see them. They love to make her laugh. She will go to each one of them. Samantha makes her laugh by doing a high step walk while holding her. Spencer can tickle her under her chin which makes her laugh as well. Brady likes to run up to her quickly and make her laugh that way. And Colby who seemed like a small boy when we left to go get her, now appears to have grown in one week while we were gone - in contrast to Jessica he seems like a giant now. Colby even loves to try and pick her up. We are trying to monitor for jealousy or a tendency on our part to give too much attention to Jessica at the expense of one of the children. So far we haven't seen or noticed any problems. We all seem so enamored with Jessica finally being here that we have all enjoyed having the extra member of our family with us. Julie and I are so proud at how quickly our kids (all 5) have adapted and warmed up to each other. While the honeymoon will end someday, we are thoroughly enjoying our new family.

After talking on Monday with my dad, I noted to him after just the first day, that there was not a need to give her space. While the first 3 days or so, she has had her struggles adjusting, Jessica didn't seem to be adversely affected by additional visitors. So Grandpa Fox and Grandma Fox couldn't wait and planned a visit to come up from St George to see their newest granddaughter. Jessica does stare you down and looks you over while she is getting use to you. The few strangers have been the exception to this rule. In the case of my Dad and Betty, upon their first arrival and ride in the car to Spencer's game - Jessica looked them over and was comfortable keeping the distance. My dad had mentioned that he wasn't expecting that this trip would result in a successful bonding experience with her. He was quickly proven wrong. Wednesday night, all of Thursday and Friday morning before they left, Jessica was demanding Grandpa time. Betty was not far behind on the holding avenue with Jessica. There was definite bonding with her grandparents for the 2 days that they were here. I am so grateful that Jessica had time to bond with them so early on.

Again, she is getting so comfortable each and every day with her surroundings and her new family - it is truly amazing how quickly things have progressed. When Julie told me earlier in the week that on two occasions for short periods of time later in the week (Friday and Saturday) that I was going to have to watch her alone, I was a bit nervous about how much crying she would do during those times. By today, I was no longer worried because of her progress. Jessica and I were buds for most of the morning. She will even come to me now when Julie is holding her. So by the time Julie had to leave for 3 hours, there was nothing to worry about. Just the normal entertainment requirement that had to be met. She hung out with me, slept, ate and welcomed the kids home from school. Jessica is an absolute blast. I had forgotten how much fun a 1 year old is - yes she demands attention but she is so cute and fun. She is laughing and smiling a lot more. Still somewhat guarded at times with her smiling, but like I said, each day there is obvious progress in her comfort level. She is truly a member of the Fox family. We are more complete with her finally here in our home.

Julie finished decorating her room. With Samantha we were unable to get really girlie in decorating her room for a couple reasons. However, before we left for Korea, Julie told me that she really wanted the decorations in her room to be ALL GIRL! Pink, purple and a lot of butterflies. We also had a professional calligrapher in Korea paint her name "Jessica" on a scroll that hangs in her room. We also have a framed Korean character for love which is her Korean given name "Sa Rang" that is going on her wall. While we didn't want to overdo it with her Korean heritage, we did want to have a touch of her culture in her room. For now though, in keeping with the recommendation of the experts, she will remain in our bed for a few weeks until she is fully over the separation anxiety.

Everyone that has seen her pictures always comment on how adorable and cute she is. As biased parents, we refuse to argue about this because she in fact is adorable and cute; much like our other 4 kids - yes BIASED but I don't think anyone in their right mind would argue these facts. But may I tell you again as a biased father, that the pictures don't do justice for Jessica. Her petite and adorable face will melt your heart. She is a little doll!!! I hope everyone will get to meet her soon. She is truly love personified - no doubt why she got her name Sa Rang.

I plan to continue to make entries once a week until routine dominates and everything for Jessica seems to be fully adjusted. Thanks for everyone's support during this long adoption process. If anyone is considering adoption, do NOT hesitate to ask us about the process, the challenges and the blessings of adoption. For us, this has been an incredible and rewarding process. Jessica has indeed been well worth the challenges we faced a long the way. All these challenges have made it that much sweeter. Jessica is a blessing of perseverance. We have been blessed.