Today has to be the "day of the walk". We did a ton of walking and riding around on the subway. The best part of the walking was we got out of the subway and walked around and really saw a lot of Seoul even though some of it we were a little lost.Today we saw the Deoksugung Palace, the New Seoul Tower, and the Village Replica that was like going to pioneer park with the locals dressed up in the traditional formal Korean dress, living in the old Korean style homes. We tried to go to the Folk Village which was recommended to us by a few friends. But our visit to Eastern today broke up the day making it impossible to get out there before it closed. We actually started heading out there but realized when we were getting closer that we wouldn't make it. That is when we redirected our trip to go to the tower and the village.
We did go to Eastern today and visited with some of the executives. Dr. Kim gave us brief history of Korea over the past several decades explaining about the stigma that existed concern domestic adoption as well as single mothers. Things are changing but some of it still exists. She gave one example that a mother planning to adopt domestically would stuff their clothes and fake a pregnancy so that people would assume that the adopted child was one they carried.
We got to see Jessica again today. During the visit the foster mother and social worker left the room to see how she would do. F
or the first 20-25 minutes she was fine. She was a little hesitant but she played with Julie and I pretty good. She still was reluctant to let us hold her but she was pretty good at interacting with us. However, she then started to get restless and then got really upset. Eventually the foster mom came back in and calmed her down.Our agency warned us that she was starting to show signs of "stranger anxiety". We were expecting it. We totally understand it. But when you see the distressed look on her face and realize that tomorrow she will experience again but this time for real - it is heart breaking. We are praying that Jessica will be comforted and that we will do all the right things to help her be adjust.
So now we are excited but reserved in our emotions, knowing that this will be tough for her. She is so adorable. I told the kids that they would be shocked at how much more they will love her when they meet her for the first time than they ever imagined.
We are lucky to be bringing such a sweet girl into our family.
My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing, Jessica is a very lucky girl.
I will pray for her to have peace and comfort in the coming days.
Love, Kirsti
Dear Scott and Julie,
ReplyDeleteWe are praying that Jessica will feel a sense of familiarity and will be at peace while you are on the plane. However, through no fault of yours she is going to suffer a real loss at a time when it will be hard to explain things to her. If she does become upset don't blame yourselves and get guilty, but lovingly and firmly hold her if she seems out of control. She may then get more upset, but eventually she will get tired and will quietly mold hersel into your arms and relax. That is bonding. Do the best you can and don't get concerned about people looking at you with what you will think is disapproval. I wish you had a little longer to transition her to you as caretakers, but you don't, so do what you can to firmly comfort her and thus prove to her that you can indeed care for her adequately. she will eventually come around although you may have a slightly chaotic flight. I hope I am wrong about that, and may well be. But you are doing the right thing for her and she will come to know that fairly quickly. If only the state department had appreciated the principles of child development and when "stranger anxiety" kicks in. But it happened the way it happened, and it will work out fine in time--a short time, I hope. I love you both with all my heart and so admire you for the love you are showing in taking little Jessica into your family. All my love, Dad
I love the picture of Jessica and Julie, I'm so excited for you guys!
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